Liking Is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts.

Jonathan Franzen wrote “Liking is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts.” that compare the difference between like and love. In examples from his personal experiences, he switched his old Blackberry phone to a new version and explained how much he liked the new phone. Later on he realized that it was not about the new Blackberry that made him happy, but about the relationship he already established in his previous Blackberry. When comparing it to personal life and relationship, Franzen explained that it is easy to like, but harder to love. Liking something or someone is easy, but loving really is a different thing. Franzen said that when he was in college, he discovered that he really like nature because everything was beautiful to him. However, later he realized how much waste and trash people were throwing into nature. He concluded at that time that there was nothing he could do to change that, so he just moved on with it like it did not really bother him. Later on in his career he got into bird watching and discovered the love he had for the wild birds. He felt and knew that there was something he loves and cares about. Whenever he saw people trashing the forest and destroying the birds’ homeland, he could not stand it anymore and decided to stop it. Franzen’s examples showed that something or someone a person likes might get converted into something or someone that they love. Love does not come easy. Sometimes people might have to risk getting hurt before they feel the love, but when they receive the love, it will be worthwhile.

Yes, I believe that there are a difference between like and love. When Jonathan described how he liked his Blackberry phone, it also made me realize that technology was an escape route. However, even if we say we love our iPhone so much, it is just in our fantasy. It is not love because it just the way how we think. When Jonathan explain to us about “technology has become extremely adept at creating products that correspond to our fantasy ideal of an erotic relationship..." it is not real. We are just fantasizing our mind. This is why we indirectly lie to ourselves by confusing like to love as stated in “This is why world of liking is ultimately a lie.” Although it is impossible just to take a picture and get two hundred “likes” on Facebook, you cannot expected it to be perfect and likable. Because love is empathy, even if it is better or worse, some people still mistaken it as like, such as when Jonathan finally understood the love he felt for the wild birds. When he saw how people trashed the place he loves, he deeply feel obligated to do something about it.